Chapter - 90 -


It is not up to you to decide to end a life


You may wonder why I chose this title? As I hear and see around me, there are many 
people who think they are finished here on earth and want to end their life.
To be honest, a few years ago I thought the same myself: "It is enough, I give up". 
This was at a time when many things were happening around me. One of them 
concerned my best friend, an old man living in a small apartment next to our house. 
His firstborn had died because of diabetes, after that I was the one who helped him. 
Except me, there was only one brother who was there for him, who visited him 
regularly and took him for drives. He was alone and his family hardly ever visited him. 
It was a time when I was faced with people without a hearth, without love. People who 
came to him only for material things and money, and there were no feelings of warmth. 
He was like a father to me and we did a lot together, like fishing, driving and building. 
He also helped me with my company. He was there for me and every morning we 
had tea together and in the evening he came for dinner. I enjoyed those moments 
very much, because he was my friend, my father and my soul mate. Then there came 
a point when he got so disappointed with his family that it brought him to a complete 
turn in his life. He could not see why and for whom he had to live any longer. He once 
told me in confidence " I will take some pills and then it is over".  My answer was: 
"It is not up to you to decide to stop living, it has to go on". Nevertheless he found a 
way of doing so. He went to his two daughters and son and told them: "When I want 
to go, please give me these pills" Incredible, they believed him and then the day 
came he told me the end of his life was near. He pretended he was very sick and 
he did not want to live any longer. He asked me to call his family so they could 
come to see him for the last time. My heart and soul told me there was nothing 
wrong, he was not sick and he was certainly not dying. That was also what the 
family doctor told us: This is not his end. I did not call the family, but after a few days 
they came by themselves, a "friend" having called them! The youngest daughter told 
me about those specific pills. Two days later, his last night, I heard terrible screaming 
from his apartment, but his children did not allow me to go there to help him. 
The pain he suffered I could feel in my body and the screaming has haunted me 
for months!

It is a sad story and what is more painful, is that it is true! I was there and I felt the pain, 
knowing my old friend took his life. That was for me the point when I asked myself why 
I was here if I could not help my best friend? I did a lot of talking, was there for him, 
looked after him. Was that not enough to keep him away from that thought of ending 
his life?

I was not able to think this over for a long time. For years, I had only one thought: 
"why did I have to lose him and why could not I help him?" Lately - many years later - 
I had a talk with my guide Mounck. This is what he told me; "John, it is okay, you did 
your best and you could not do any thing about this. Your friend was in a lot of mental 
pain, he was disappointed in his family, in his children, who were willing to give him 
these pills. It was his firstborn who kept him alive and whom he really cared for. 
After she passed away there was no reason for him to go on. You did everything 
possible in your life, but there was no way of getting him over that terrible loss of 
his child, who was the only person he could trust. He knew the other children were 
willing to give him these pills and as he told you many times before, they were only 
after material possession and money in this world. Being together with his children 
in this way, was his proof that there was no true connection between these three 
children and him. As you see John, these people are simple beginning souls,
people who are in their first lives and have to learn a lot. They will carry all this pain 
in their future soul lives for a long time, because ending a life is not allowed in the 
soul world. All lives are important, even when a life is full of sickness or not so full 
of power, every soul needs to bring its life to a natural end, just as it was planned. 
Your friend is already back in this world and has to start all over again and learn to 
live a life without manipulating and avoiding terrible things. This was his main 
problem: whenever he came across any major problems in his life, he walked away 
and did not solve anything. He was not there for his children or for others. So even 
with his own life, he did not solve his problems. About the others who did this to him,
keep believing in their simplicity. They are new souls who have only just started and 
who need to learn a lot. As long as they keep believing in material wealth and 
money like this, they have to come back over and over again, until they see that 
there is another road to go for them. Feel sorry for them, because in the future, in 
this life, they will have a lot of pain to bear and they certainly already know that they 
did wrong. Keep sending them positive energy, so that, they will end their life in a 
positive way, making that negative part smaller in their complete life. One of them 
will have hard times, because he was your best friend and he bears the pain all the 
time and he could not talk about that with you. Keep sending him positive energy 
too and one day he will have the courage to call you. 

Do not expect this to happen soon, because he is in a lot of pain and you know him 
better than anyone else".

These words of Mounck gave me all the answers to the questions I had in this part 
of my life. The negative energy from one of them I could feel every day, and she 
wanted my life to be over too. With all the positive energy around me, there was no 
place for her negative energy and so my feelings changed. Mounck told me enough, 
so I can believe that these people are poor in life. But sending them my positive 
energy, I know for sure that the negative energy coming from them will be changed 
into positive energy.

This chapter is an example of what may happen if you end a life, your own life or 
someone else's. Ending your own life or that of other people will push you back in 
soul life. In the Universe there is a law, a rule and that is: you have to respect all lives, 
human, animal or plant life. It doesn't matter which one, because all lives are part of 
the total life and ending one of them, creates huge negativism in the Universe. 
Everyone has a moment in life when he wants to stop living. Sometimes you think 
a problem is too large for you. Then you find a solution, so your life continues and 
everything is forgotten. But if you decide to take a life, you will see the turn in your 
own life and that of others. The Universe will give you more problems to handle, 
greater than those before and then there comes a moment when a voice keeps 
reminding you of that split second when you did that one act that was against 
Universal law. So remember, respect all lives and life forms, because we need 
them in our total life in the Universe. Respect life, it is a miracle that you are here, 
so enjoy it.


(Chapter 90)


TO MY NEXT CHAPTER