Chapter - 91 -


Alone


Do you ever - or perhaps often - have the feeling that you are all alone? I know for sure 
that you feel lonely at least once in a while, otherwise why do you go to a bar, to your 
friends or to a park? Not because you feel fine. Many people feel alone, lost and not 
really there in life. Why is that? Why do we human beings have the feeling that we're 
alone? I experience it as a feeling deep down inside me, a feeling that tells me: "You 
have to do it by yourself and nobody will help you". Strange, because I have wonderful 
people around me: My wife is there whenever I need her, she feels what I feel, and she 
knows what is happening. I have some friends, who come in, just in time when I need 
a talk. I have my animals around me: the dogs, the lizards, the birds and not to forget 
that hummingbird, that is talking to me all day long. There are the plants around me, 
telling me what is going on in their lives. I am certainly not alone! But why that feeling, 
that mood of being lost in space? There is more that I have not mentioned, which is 
that there is also energy that is always there and of course the connection I have with 
the Core. It is too much to tell you how everything is connected, because we are one: 
One big energy field that is working together for every one and everything. So we can 
talk with each other without opening our mouths, see what is coming, look in the past 
and we see the present. All this is because we are connected with everybody and 
everything. 

But the question is still there: Why do we feel alone? I think it is because we cannot 
really believe that we are one and even if we live by ourselves, we are still connected 
with all that is around us. I saw it like that for a long time in my life, but then I found out 
that there is a stage when you are alone. Not being alone because you do not have 
the connection with all that is around you, but being alone because the energy waves 
do not fill a certain part of your feelings. What does that mean? Let me try to explain 
by taking myself as an example, because that is the easiest way. I was not alone for 
a long time. I was fully connected with people around me. They were not always the 
most beautiful people, but there was a feeling that I was with them. A few years ago
I started to connect again with more larger part of the energy and I saw, felt and 
worked with energy so that I was always filled with the feeling that I was one with total 
life, total energy. After this period, something happened. More and more I left my body 
travelling to other places at night, as I wrote before, and I have the feeling that I am not 
working full-time with this body I have during the day. I feel as if I am giving my energy 
away at night, helping, that is to say, trying to help others with their problems in their
lives. Living that way, I experienced a new feeling. A feeling of being alone! It feels 
like that, because I have split myself into different lives and I am not really feeling at 
home anywhere! I know now why this feeling is there. It is because I am thinking more 
like a human, like when you come back from vacation saying to yourself: 
"Home Sweet Home". Because I am not always in my body, there is really no home. 
This brings us to something that is very important in my life: My soul doesn't have a 
home. In the energy world, there is no single place to stay and there is no 
"Home Sweet Home", because everywhere, everybody and everything is home. 
As for me, I feel deep inside me that this is the bridge between earthly lives and 
Universal's (soul's) life! At this moment, I have to replace the feeling of being alone
by the feeling that I am at home in my own energy and the Universal energy. 
The energy is there and does not leave me for a second, which is why there is no 
being alone in the Universe.
 
Difficult to understand? No problem, it is not important to know at which stage I am 
living right now. For me it is important that we, human beings, can never be alone if 
we believe in what we feel. A homeless person walking in the street is not alone as 
long as he feels the energy around him. That dog with you and that life in the streets 
around you can never give you the feeling that you're alone. I can hear you thinking: 
what about these people in bars, in the park and in the streets in the big cities? 
I'm glad you remind me. These people, all of them, are alone, because they lost the 
connection with the energy, with their life and the path they have to go. They are lost 
and think they will find love and understanding from others in other places. 
Their feeling has gone. When I walk through a street or I visit people, there is so much 
energy with which I first have a lot of trouble. I can feel all that negative energy and a 
lot of disappointment. They are talking, laughing or playing and having a lot of fun, 
but their energy tells me so often: HELP ME, I FEEL ALONE! This is something I hear 
time and again when I am in a big city or in the street. ALONE! I am alone, because I 
cannot feel anymore, I cannot see anymore, and I do not know how to go on with my 
life. It is sad and I have to confess that for a long time this was difficult for me to ignore.

Why? Because these people feel lonely, but they do not want help! I have wasted a lot 
of energy trying to help some of these people and in the long run, it took me down, 
because my energy was not strong enough to keep myself healthy. Now I am back at 
that point where I was at the beginning of my life, and so I can get on. For most of you 
it may look as if I am alone, feel lonely and do not understand human beings anymore. 
But I believe something else is happening: It is my next stage, a higher level in human 
life which I have to learn to work with, not with human beings but with pure energy. 

Some time ago, I wrote that everything is energy but as long as you see a human being 
as a human being and an animal as an animal, there is no way I can help you. Now that
I go deeper into that world of energy, I can see that most problems are solved by 
themselves and there is no longer a world of limitation. That stage is strange, because 
this feeling of loneliness I have had for a while, is not the feeling of missing people but 
missing the power I had in former lives. This life is for me a life full of limitations. 
My body, my power and my soul are so limited that I am not able to do extraordinary 
things. My path and my goal are that I want to prove that without any power, most of the 
things are possible. This feeling of working without power, knowing it is there, is for 
me the hardest thing to accept right now. This feeling of loneliness is for me like: 
"Oh, what have I done, coming into this world powerless?" It is the path I have to follow, 
I have to work with and for sure it will be accomplished, because I know I did not come 
here on earth to have a vacation. 

This is the last time I am here, I will bring my last mission to a good end, so there is 
more we can work with in the soul world. I believe, I feel, I accept, and so I am now 
on my way to the next step. A place where there is no feeling of being alone or 
standing in an open space where human beings are paralyzed, without feelings 
and beliefs.
 
Believe and you will never be alone.


(Chapter 91)


TO MY NEXT CHAPTER